Cut The Bull

July 18, 2019

by Eric Hill

Last week, a video surfaced from the annual Running of the Bulls/Darwin Award all-star weekend in Pamplona, Spain of Josh Norman jumping over not one, but two bulls—or maybe it was one bull twice—semantics don’t really matter here. The point is, a prominent NFL player making north of $14 million this season engaged in an activity that could have easily maimed or killed him. It was reckless, irresponsible, stupid and showed extremely poor judgment.

And it was awesome.

Seriously, he jumped over a bull. Jumped. Over. A. Bull.

I have been close to a bull before—and by “close,” I mean “within 20 feet and separated by a fence,”—and let me tell you, they are terrifying animals. The idea of being in an area with one running loose is enough to set off my nope alarm.  The idea of approaching one wouldn’t even cross my mind. The idea of running at one and leaping over it is something I wouldn’t believe was possible without video evidence.

The athleticism it takes to jump that high and far is impressive. The athleticism it takes to jump over a large, violent animal while being weighed down by the galactically huge set of balls required to do it is incalculable. Norman is a legit superhero. Those of us who insist that we would never do something so dumb probably couldn’t jump over a bulldog, let alone a bull, so it’s a moot point.  Josh could and did, and now he is a legend.

Had he been injured we would be singing a different tune entirely. Norman would rightfully be the butt of all the jokes and the memes would flow like the mighty Mississippi River. He would be exhibit A in the “you can’t fix stupid” gallery. But he cleared the bull and now he has all the swag.

Now, the Redskins have every right to be furious.  They have a young stable of cornerbacks and are counting on Norman to be a steadying presence in the secondary. Exposing himself to injury and/or death like that should make their blood boil because they are paying him a ton of money to be available. Not to mention the example he’s setting for other players.  I’m sure he will get a stern talking to once he gets back to Ashburn.

Here’s where it gets interesting: NFL players are a competitive lot and I can see some of them upping the ante on crazy stunts to obtain peak bragging rights. If we see a video of Daron Payne wrestling a polar bear, Kelvin Harmon charming a cobra with a recorder, or Dwayne Haskins storming Area 51 (they can’t stop all of us!), we’ll surely have Josh Norman to thank.

A more realistic side effect of Norman’s stunt will likely be more specific don’t do crazy stuff clauses in future contracts. Many current contracts include clauses about riding motorcycles and playing basketball, you know, run of the mill exposure to injury fair. It will be fun watching agents and GMs haggle over jumping large animals, sword fighting, fire eating or whatever other type of adrenaline junky stuff they can think of.

Regardless of the unintended consequences of his actions or the stupidity of risking millions of dollars (there’s no chance the team would have paid him had he been injured), Norman has a great story to tell his grandkids, with video to back it up.  Sometimes that’s worth the risk—as long as you don’t kill yourself.